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Submitted on
November 27, 2013


4 (who?)
"So, you're the twelfth Doctor?" asked the Companion.

"Yes!" said the Doctor, a twinkle in his eyes. "Well, no. Actually, I'm the thirteenth. I just don't count one of my lives."

The Companion scrunched her adorable face in a look of mild confusion. "Why?" she asked. "Was he evil, or aborted?"

"Oh, no!" said the Doctor, his eyes still twinkling a little. "In fact, I consider him very much a Doctor. In a way, the old fellow was more a Doctor than any of me. I told him so, once. Though I thought he was a bit of a bastard for quite a while before then. My memories were wrong, you see."

The Companion didn't see.

"But I worked it all out during my last life," continued the Doctor, "So now I fully acknowledge him as a Doctor."

"So you are the thirteenth Doctor!" said the Companion, prettily satisfied with herself.

"Well, sort of… technically," said the Doctor, his eyes now only vaguely twinklish. "But I was used to the numbers I'd set down, so now I just say I'm the twelfth."

"That makes no sense!" said the Companion, sipping tea with one hand and idly pressing buttons on the TARDIS console as she sat right on top of it because there wasn't a proper chair nearby. "Why not just admit that you're the thirteenth Doctor?"

"Oh… because I'd made T-shirts," admitted the Doctor with some reluctance. "You see, I support myself by selling merchandise across time and space. Posters, papers, pens… Do you know how awkward it would be to muddle the numbers now?"

The Companion seemed rather disillusioned. She shrugged her shoulders, however, resigning herself to another slightly cynical reality. "At least that's a reason," she said, "even if it's not a good one."

"All my reasons are good," retorted the Doctor, his eyes not twinkling even slightly (though his manner was nonetheless charming and whimsical). "But… I'll acknowledge that some are better than others."

"All right, we'll drop the subject. I just wanted to know how many lives you've had." The Companion slipped her svelte frame off of the console, toggling a few switches with her bum on the way down. It didn't matter.

"Fourteen," said the Doctor.

"What? Fourteen what?" The Companion threw her tea into the air, where a miniature black hole appeared just long enough to suck it into another universe, staining Omega's tunic.

"I've had fourteen lives," he replied.

"But I thought you said you've been thirteen Doctors!" cried the Companion, stomping a girlish foot. "Are you joshing me?"

"I never josh!" declared the Doctor. "But my tenth self -- who was actually my eleventh, but never mind -- he pulled a bit of a trick and regenerated into himself after the energy healed his wounds."

"You can do that?" asked the Companion, suitably awed.

"Certainly, if I have a spare body part in near proximity."

The Companion gave the matter a bit of thought. "So," she said slowly, "What's the point of changing into someone else at all if the regeneration simply heals you first? Why is mutating into another person even part of the process?"

"Because Rassilon was a prat, that's why," replied the Doctor. "He was always adding unnecessary steps to the Time Lords' biological processes. It's why I have to scream into a bag every time I go to the bathroom."

"I was wondering."

"An excellent habit." The Doctor reached into a miniature black hole and retrieved the tea. "Just don't go too far with it. Our universe is full of things which don't make sense."

"Like you claiming to be the twelfth Doctor on his fourteenth life rather than just admitting that your number's thirteen?"

"Yes, quite. But shush!" he cried. "It's an unlucky number! Don't you know I’m superstitious?"
This took maybe twenty minutes or so (just in case you were expecting a glorious eternal opus).  It's a bit of catharsis, that's all.  Kind of aimed at the current writers of Doctor Who.  If you follow the show and its gossip, you know where I'm coming from.  If you don't, well... I'm sure we'll forgive each other.
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ilvos01 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist
This is pretty much exactly what happened in Time of the Doctor. :D
Scribbleykins Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Well, I laughed.
JoeEngland Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
  Good to hear!
butterfly-dragon Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't really follow the doctor, but i heard what you had to say previously on youtube and this made me laugh :P

I wonder if this is the last season and if they intend to make a megabundle of all the seasons and specials somewhere after this one. I hate following series that are still in progress, if they decay i feel compelled to follow them in the trudging
gwalla Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
All of the seasons would be impossible, since many early episodes are lost.
butterfly-dragon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah i heard that too :(
People are so careless =P
gwalla Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
Well, remember that in the early days it was considered disposable entertainment, not really something worth saving, and the BBC had a policy of reusing tape to save money, so many original tapes got recorded over with other programs. And this was before VCRs had been invented, so nobody taped it off of the TV. A lot of the Second Doctor (Patrick Troughton) era only survives as shooting scripts and some still promotional shots.
EZReader111 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013
Keep writing Joe. The only real limitation the Doctor has is imagination. If you can come up with a fantastic notion, make it compelling and still have it make sense, then you just might have what it takes to write a story that the rest of the Whovians can embrace as well. No pressure though.
JoeEngland Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you for the advice.
SamuelSGray Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013
The only limit anyone has is imagination. The problem here is that if you if you have not grounded your imaginative constructs in something foundational, your limitations make for a very concise and witless construct.  Now, I'll be clear in saying that I have not watched this series or any Dr. Who series mainly because of this fact--they've left the door of limitation so far open that Mr. Deus ex Machina can visit at any time of the day and make himself home and comfy without any fear of reprisal from whoever manages it respective narrative.

This is a problem anyone who ever has to deal with the prospect of plot, character, or incident resolutions is the simple aspect of remaining within the confines of the world you have created. Just as the solutions of plots too should come about as a result of the plot itself and not from a contrivance, so too should this controversy seek to resolve itself. A contrivance must be used for matters outside the drama—either previous events which are beyond human knowledge, or later ones that need to be foretold or announced.  Anything else is in God's hands--the omnipotent powers that we cannot understand but govern the plot we cannot see that are prevalent within the plots we do perceive.

Forgive me for saying so, but your suggestion inf coming up with a "fantastic notion" and making it "compelling and still have it make sense" is no less than lying to your audience.  A lie, as you very well should know is used most often as a cover for the real thing.  Joe has, I have no doubt, uncovered the real thing and is calling it out as it is.
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